Prime.

Oooo, I so wanna sequel this!

I like how the personality of the youths just exudes from their dialogue. Not’sure I cou’d copy’da accent tho. (fail)

Let’s hav’ a looksee, maybe?

I enjoyed this and am interested to see where this leads. The dialogue is great!

Fun and with a sort of jaunty, happy-go-lucky air to their theivery…you know, until the dead body.

I had a critique point, but then I reread and noted it was my error in reading. So, good work.

I loved the set up, the dialogue and the lead in to the last sentence. Which SHOULD have hit my up side the head. But it didn’t.
“The two thieves had stumbled across a dead man.” is a narator telling instead of you showing us. Something a bit more punchy like:
“A dead man stared back at the theives with the same shock on his chalky face.”