Some logistics: In the third last paragraph he walks to the door, though there is no indication that he had even moved into the room? Also within that it says ‘we’ where I think you mean ‘he’ as there is no previous first person connaitation.
The dialogue is really realistic which I love in a piece and so is the body movement.
Last point: with the cursing it and drug abuse it should be rated mature.
Wednesday [PJ] ((LoA))