Star Trek: The Next Sweateration
Episode 1

Mop cart wobbles, dancing steel corridors. Corridors, long and narrow, with floors. Stainless steel floors. Floors to walk on. Floors of a starship.

“This Captain likes his floors clean…”

Floors that, although stainless, need proper mopping.

“This Captain likes his floors clean…”

Mop cart wobbles, dancing steel corridors, gallops, spills, and tumbles. A frantic once-captain-now-manservant scuttles to evaporate the overturned leak, but it is too late.

Captain Sweateron has noticed his blunder.

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“Crusher on goddamn bridge, what the b’Jesus was all that racket, Jean mah-boy?”

Captain Wesley Crusher kicks back and cracks another tall boy, soon to be added to the growing pyramid. Now aged, fat, and worn, no longer the quintessential specimen of young-man-dom he once was, Wesley rests his beer can atop the crest of his beer gut, a gut Riker would be proud to see. That is, if he wasn’t on extended vacation (wink wink).

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Cut to Picard:

“Make—”