In years past, assignment to servers of restaurant sections was determined by rock throwing and grunting. Now that most eateries are no longer constructed of grass and mud, this tradition has fallen out of favor. Not to mention the advent of lawyers and of course lawsuits of the personal injury variety. In today’s glamorous world of moving pictures and erectile dysfunction pills, we have a far more civilized system of delegating sections. Each server is lit on fire with a brulee torch and whomever reaches the water pitcher and self-extinguishes first, gets to choose the busiest tables.