The starkness of the scene leaves me chilled. So much is said in such a spartan space that the economy of the narrative creates its own forboding. At the same time, the description of the adversary paints a picture of how the fight will go and how “bad” the reluctant protagonist will have to be to prevail.

This is a very well written piece.

Look in the last line for the quotation mark typos – close quote @ ugly and open quote @ eh."

Just teriffic.

Nicely detailed Robert. The scene is laid out well. Your descriptions of the adversary are common to the ruffians that frequent bars and ill-treat women. Our hero takes a stand when most people won’t. Good job. I think the sequel could be a good challenge entry, but alias it can’t be done.

Bob, it might be that the open double-quote could be before “Your momma…, if you read into Robert’s writing of the protagonist’s mind.

I like that you the ‘hero’ of the story isn’t certain to win this fight. He’s doing the right thing but that may get him a spot on the floor next to the girl.