Those ring tones, seriously.. :)

The dialogue had me a little puzzled a few lines in, but nothing a twice over didn’t fix.

Bizarre scenario. Very quick to hint at a very dark, disturbing reality. It worked cause we all know the character limit, but it could make for a neat short story with a bit of dark humor in it. You might have been able to do without the line introducing her and just let the off color ringtone be our first introduction, but that’s just a kibbitz.

@THX, excellent advice. I had a hard time using quotation marks utilizing MLA guidelines but we have limited options. Your advice was excellent on not focusing on introducing the female character; the main character is off stage, the abusive boyfriend, who manages to disrupt the entire boardroom.

I thought it was a ringtone at first, too. Quite a dark change to realize that it’s a speakerphone.

Also, I’m a little puzzled by the threat of “You can forget about Christmas cause you ain’t even gone see New Year’s,” considering that Christmas comes before New Year’s.

@cthulhuburger: You reminded me that I needed to cite; So here it is:

Lyrics written and performed by Master P. “Do You Know”. Taken from About.com’s 25 worst rap lyrics:

12.“If you don’t bring back my m****f*****n money or my m***f****n dope, you can forget about Christmas n***a, cause you ain’t gon even see New Years.”

So that answers your question, if you want to ask Master. P about it, your on your own!

Thanks again.

Maybe he wrote the song between Christmas and New Years? Then New Years would occur first ;)