Oh, that was sad. I like the bitter honesty in the idea of how the pain is a little easier when hidden behind pretty words. For a bit I thought the kid had killed herself with holding her breath, then I got it, and actually liked the use of breath and air as a thread through the whole thing.
This is beautiful, someday. A glorious return to ficly. You deserve every one of these 5 pencils. It does seem like a lot of people are returning to ficly lately, but you are by far the most awesome.
Cystic fibrosis is such a horrible disease, and it’s genetic. And it’s very likely that someone who reads this story will have it written into their DNA, but not show any symptons, because it’s just horrible like that. This story was extremely moving. Thank you.
Wow, you have such a talent and bring so much power into your sentences; they smack you in the face, demanding you pay attention! Absolutely beautiful. Such a pretty way to dress up a horrible moment.
Tragic. Your writing is excellent. Pain resonates with the reading. The first two paragraphs starting with ‘she’ is brilliant. Three lines later, and the sorrow the word ‘she’ entails starts all over again. Nicely done.
Agree with all the comments here. The style of writing is awesome! So much sadness, pain all woven together with such pretty words. Loved it. The part “hiding behind pretty words, it didn’t sound so terrible” added so much more to the emotions. Made me cry! (Ya well almost)
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