The alliteration is palpable! And although I enjoy it and it helps this piece get going, I think it also becomes too noticeable and in the way by the end. There are some serious layers of cadence— almost like a poemory (poem/ story). Dare I make a pun and say it conjured images of a washed up swashbuckler? I did in fact like this piece of yours, Sir Bic-ster.

Wow, quite the scene and a mouthful of a read. Feels like you were doggedly going after a certain style here. Mostly it worked, more towards the end. I really struggled with what you meant in the sequence, “…the unfettered – bar now – tattered sails…”
Great scene with lots of senses involved and drama to it.

Does the taste of salt scorch? That word wasn’t working for me. Other than, I really enjoyed this… it’s not a style you see a lot, which is always really nice.