Sad. []o( I like that you bring the thoughts of science and technology into the mix of emotions. Sometimes you use contractions other times you do not. Personally, I think it’d read better if you’d use them throughout.

Thanks (my first comment!) and I agree. Better to be consistent.

I’m not sure I agree.

Sometimes a missed rule is a bruise; a scar, a direct link to an emotional state of mind.
In your case, writing with a grieving hand leaves tremors. I appreciate your state of mind: One second you’re in the moment and the next lost in memories.
Contractions add warmth and truth to your personality. And there’s our proof to your true state of mind. Your use of contractions pertaining to you are warm. When mentioning your children you don’t use contractions. And you then end the subject of them with: “They deserve a dad who is all the way there.”
So your use of contractions proves your state of mind. Raw, vacant, lost, wandering, detached, and still pulling down four of everything.
Well Done.