It sounds like his intentions might have an effect on her. This is an inspiring tale that can motivate a person to action.
The matter is beautiful, the means is verbose. I would have loved reading a description of the setting. Expressing the inner thought or feeling of a character is also nice. The dialog is good, but sometimes, when we use too much, it can appear rambling. – keep writing, I’ll keep reading. []o)
Sir Bic