Comments on Coffee Cup by Tad Winslow

someday_93

This is such a great snapshot moment. I love the line “wears weariness in his eyes,” it evokes such a powerful image. And I want to know who Juliana is! A past girlfriend seems a little cliche, so I almost hope it’s not, but I suppose it could go that way…
- Posted over 8 years ago.
someday_93

I might come back to this later and write a sequel. If you don’t mind, that is :)
- Posted over 8 years ago.
Tad Winslow

No, I don’t mind at all, someday. I’d be honored if you added.
Juliana is a randomly chosen name and character. I wanted to give these people names and genders to avoid any egregious cliches. All I managed to fit in in the name department was Juliana :P haha.
- Posted over 8 years ago.
Sir Bic

Nicely done, Tad.

Your third paragraph is full of life and meaning. another drop in the waterfall of time – beautiful. I would have loved for this description to be of Juliana, sitting there, missing something. She would then be the the subjects main object. He should be ‘unable to stray an eye’ from before her. Maybe I got it all wrong, just my initial thoughts is all.
- Posted over 8 years ago.
Wednesday [PJ] ((LoA))

Oh, sublime and sad. I can feel the loss in the grey-blue tone that comes across in your language.
- Posted over 8 years ago.
- 5 out of 5
32 Squared

A ghost story. Well done. Don’t change anything. He is not there for Julianna, he’s going about his day as normal, a vicious cycle, and she just happens to be there. I’m more fascinated by the whispering lies; is he the one that killed you and stole your girlfriend away? So many possibilities. The characters have no boundaries at this juncture.
- Posted over 8 years ago.
- 5 out of 5
cthulhuburger

I agree with 32 squared. If you fiddle with this story, you probably won’t be doing yourself any favors. It’s excellent the way it is.
- Posted over 8 years ago.