Originally submitted to deviantArt. I figured you guys might like to read it.

Haha, for some reason the idea of a military colonel using alliteration about pigeons appeals to me :D

Hilarious.

I’m a sucker of the alliteration and ardently aware of another’s aptitude in using it. ‘…pigeons pecking pachyderms.’ is perfect!

Thanks for sharing.

I also liked the alliteration, it made me smile :)

The second sentence in line 3 needs some work. It should either be “have attempted” or “are attempting,” but those two words don’t agree.

someday_93 caught the one grammar critique I was going to point out.

I liked the progression with the dialog to get across the situation, which made me think of ‘Chuck’ for some reason. That worked well, especially with the tone starting to come through by the end, the quiet resentment but submittal by Tom.

Thanks for the grammatical correction! It’s fixed.

I’ll have to see if I can come up with more ideas for what to write. It’s easy after I got it.