Someone Always has a Worse Job

Every time I come out of the kitchen I have to replace the goggles. It’s eerie leaving the well lit kitchen, to pitch blackness, and then to a green sea of people. This is my fifth dinner and it’s still jarring.

As the night wears on, it gets harder to navigate the paths to the tables. Bodies just lie everywhere. $75 a plate to become an inconvenience.

Rudy waves me over.

“Dude, that guy on 13 just totally bent over the chick on 20’s husband! They’re going to town right next to a Senator!”

So it’s starting early tonight. This is Rudy’s first dinner so he doesn’t know what to expect.

It starts with a play in full lights. Then they cut the power to the dining room for the meal. Waiters and spotters wear night vision goggles but the celebrities and politicians are in absolute darkness.

It starts with a guy fondling his wife. Then he gets bold and fondles his neighbor. Usually by the third bottle of wine it’s Caligula.

This job sucks but at least I don’t have to shampoo the carpets.

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