The night sky glittered behind me. Standing there on the balcony, I felt like I belonged up there, shining like a diamond forever. Closing my eyes I could feel myself rising up, stretching towards the cool perfection of the infinite, when I felt a strong hand clamp onto my wrist.

“Hey, are you okay?” Bob’s voice called to me, as if from far away.

I murmured something trivial, the first thing I thought of just to make him go away. Instead he pulled me back into our house, into the chaos of the party. I felt too floaty to offer any resistance.

The heat inside was unbearable, and I could smell the signs of debauchery. Cigarette and weed smoke hung in the air; acrid cobwebs. Underneath them an awful, burning ocean of cheap liquor, sweat, and sex roiled.

“Don’t worry, she’s here everybody. She’s here. Everything’s going to be okay.” Bob yelled over the music.

At the smattering of drunken applause, I felt living tears escape my eyes from where I had trapped them- and I wished to God, that I were one of them.