Thanks Nagi! Changed it to “dart around my racy curves” and inserted that comma. Much better. Thanks for the pencils too.

Oh wow. In my head, the song “Short Skirt, Long Jacket” by Cake was playing. Great descriptions, especially the very first line. It made me cringe.

If I were to “unloosen” something, wouldn’t that be to tighten? You said that he unloosened his tie… I think that’s called a double negative. :)

@ Kihd: GREAT EYE! You are right in that I misused the word. It is, I researched, not a DN, but: un·loos·ened, un·loos·en·ing, un·loos·ens, To unloose, grant freedom to; free from confinement. Basically, I redefine it as unloosening someone or thing from an intangible situation; such as an oath, contract, spell, etc.

I learned something!

Thanks.

I like how you went into her past in the beginning, and transitioned into the present. Very lovely.