“What do you mean you never had it before, you didnt say that when I bought it” Mary said. Her face was red and the ER was packed. My face felt like it was on fire, I couldn’t feel my lips and my nose felt sore. The moustache I had grown was now a singed mess.

Mary was the best first date I had been with in a long time. She was funny and laughed when she saw I had grown a moustache for our date, she had said in her online profile she liked them. Although, in hind sight, she had one of those little smiley things at the end of her sentence so she could have been joking.

We were having such a good time that I had agreed to go to the club with her, “Have you ever tried flaming sambuca?,” she asked “Of course,” I lied. The drinks arrived. Hoping to impress I took the warm drink, “down the hatch!” I said as I knocked the drink back, flames and all. From what I can recollect I then received facial beating and was doused in water.
Now, sitting in the waiting room, I didn’t rate my chances of another date.

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