Your first three lines are killer (no pun intended) The ‘clever’ didn’t thrill me. You think there needs to be a comma before ‘never’ in line twelve? Overall, this is a good poem.
Thank you! I didn’t even realize those mistakes until you pointed them out to me. Also, thank you again! The first three lines were just something that came to me, when the experience of my poem came back to me.
Sir Bic
Emmalene Elizabeth