Big words, passive phrases, and the characters as objects are conflicting with the tense action of the situation. You also stress the power of the characters a little too much- show us that they’re powerful, don’t tell us. I like the concept, though.
Big words, passive phrases, and the characters as objects are conflicting with the tense action of the situation. You also stress the power of the characters a little too much- show us that they’re powerful, don’t tell us.
I like the concept, though.
J.M.V.