THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD KILL
LETS DIE!! she yelled as she shoved the grenade into the hollowed out goblin skull I’d been spitting my heroin into.
Shit baby, I said, you know nothing like that can kill me, I said.
But she was already dead, from the grenade. The cops came and did their fuckin COP thing, all stick em up and yeah yeahyeah until I plugged those strips of bacon full of more hole than Obama’s budget. I hopped into the nearest pig-cruzer and started doing a burnout donut and suddenly I had spun around so fast that I shot out of the car and landed right in the lap of a hot seventeen year old cheerleader (just my size too 8-) ) and we started going at it REAL nasty (she looked like Faye from Questionable Content)
Later it turned out that her dad was the mayor and he thanked me for kiling those cops (because they were crooked) (I totally could tell it from looking at them, because they held there guns sideways) (rookie mistake 8-) )
He made me the head of the B.A.D.D. SQUAD and that’s just where the story begins…