Nicely done. These are my favorite story segments… those that you learn about a character through their surrounding and their reaction to simple things (like mac and cheese)

A nice sequence of a events. Felt very real and very genuine. The blue light made me think the cops were outside, but that’s my quick reading and thinking ahead. Nice use of the present tense as well, though I’m reticent to admit that.

A very clever and well written piece, actions always speak louder than words (so to speak) so it’s nice to try and figure a character out based on what they do and how they react. I enjoyed it.

You paint scenes beautifully.

I will have to admit, I really didn’t “get” this form of writing. Then I sensed a familiarity. I realized your stories are highly personalized and reading the comments pushed me to that conclusion so I continued reading more of them……and this one was written just for me.

I realized how you write reminded me of something I learned in one of my college courses. I thought of how you could be standing in this trailer telling this teen star about her character until she becomes the character all-the-while you’re fussing with a single strand of her hair so that it lays a certain way across her crying brow,

Your stories all have very specific characteristics for very specific scenes focusing on traits, innuendos and nuances. Technical.

You write mise en scenes.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mise_en_sc%C3%A8ne
My instructor focused a little bit on the technical term of mise en scene but we spent a majority of the term focsuing on this:

[mise en scene] takes on mystical meanings related to the emotional tone of a film [ or in your case, writing].