Active Dan was bloodied and hurtling through the air towards an atomic bomb. Recent surveys show that he spends 37% of his time this way.

“You’re a menace, Active Dan!” shouted Colonel Commisioner over the radio, turning audibly red. “You should have been in outer space half an hour ago!”

“I ain’t got time to leave the atmosphere!” growled Dan. “Or bleed. Or file my taxes!”

“You’re a loose cannon, Active Dan! You could get killed or audited!”

Dan caught up to the bomb and held on with his huge thighs. Pulling out the screwdriver he’d stolen from the White House that morning, Dan had the access panel off in a flash, revealing a tangle of wires.

“Colonel! Which one do I cut? Teal, magenta or beige?”

“You’re a fly in the ointment, Active Dan! You-”

“No time for colours! Raaarrllgh!” Active Dan tore into the wires with his bare teeth. The bomb beeped to let him know it was disarmed and he dove off just in time to land in a tree and climb down to safety.

But the tree… WAS IN ITALY!

(To be continued?)