Searching for the remnants of my past left me in such a profound state of despair that I took to creating a still. I imbibed the spirit of strange tubers resembling potatoes and woke one morning with a blinding hangover inside the camp of one of the aformentioned creatures.

I have now started spending time with these creatures. I have taught them how to make fire, ply the earth with nourishing seeds, and table etiquette. Loneliness led me to take a lover, and to my dismay (then grudging delight) our genetic stock was viable. We have a happy family of three children.

When I found one of the tribe’s shamans doing an illustration inside of a cavern, my blood ran cold. I dashed to my time machine and re-continued my investigations of its records. Five days later I stepped outside, dazed and starving.

The numbers did not lie. My first calculations were incorrect. Not 10,000 years into the future… try into the past instead, and add a couple of zeros to that figure.

Crikey. Did I just father Homo Sapiens?