I’m going to confess to being a bit lost. The scene is magical and the phrasing lyrical. The downside is that it winds unclear what is going on. It’s a trade off, just wound up too far on the vague side of the balance for my taste.

I’m going to confess to being a bit lost. The scene is magical and the phrasing lyrical. The downside is that it winds unclear what is going on. It’s a trade off, just wound up too far on the vague side of the balance for my taste.

This paints an almost unforgettable mental picture. I don’t think THX and I share the same difficulties here, or at least to the same extent.

i had to read it twice, the commas breaking up description are lyric, but confusing the first time. The second time through, the whole picture comes through with childlike abandon. :) Since Hallum refers to himself in the third person, this takes on a dreamlike quality, or it may show he has a disability as some writers use this style to show.