After reading this I would like to invite you to our world building challenge. There is a lot of stuff to like here. Specifically your attention to detail in the italic parts. The scene of chaos is helped by the lack of punctuation that actually makes it a scene of chaos. Great job there.

My only criticism is that a couple of i’s could be capitalized.

Overall, excellent work.

Thank you so much for the feedback! I went back and capitalised the loser-case i’s, and I think it makes it much more readable.
The world building challenge looks great; thanks for the invitation!

The stream of consciousness is done very well. You should join the world building challenge!