I love the twist at the end, particularly since you can imagine another fantasy story going the other way: ‘These coordinates, don’t they show that the island’s in the sky?’

I’d recommend using the plain and unadorned “she said” and “he asked” – I don’t think “she hissed darkly” or “he enquired” add to your story. In fact, the latter drags the punchline down.

Okay, I’ve taken off the bling.