Desperation in this stream of consciousness. you could leave out the how, the shot thing, and it would be more open to interpretation. besides, you have them changing from ‘i believe in you’, to ‘I almost believe in you’, to ‘No I DO believe in you!’ and that wishy-washyness gives character (the desperation part), but not strength. In this weakness, I get the feeling Sunshine won’t wake up, that hope is really lost, and pleading is just the last attempt to grasp at straws.

I agree with Elsha in that the how and the why don’t need to be in there. Kind of stops it being so personal, whereas leaving it ambiguous allows the reader to perhaps relate in another way, more personally and less detached.

But I love the stream of consciousness, and the flaws of the narrator character in his not-strength, because that’s what people are like.