Lovely! This is lyrical and beautiful!

Again, I’m going to nit-pick grammar. I think grammar advice is the best kind of advice because it can improve your piece without changing it drastically. I just hope it doesn’t come across as pedantic or critical.

“In a song most pure and real.”

‘Pure’ and ‘real’ are absolutes; something is either pure or it is not – it cannot be more or most pure.

It seems in the second paragraph (stanza?) that you’re making a list: “It would have (1) …, (2) …, etc.” but then you say “For the moments” instead of “The moments” as I would expect from a list.

“Why we love each other as strong as we do…” should be “strongly”.

Wonderful analogy between love and music. I quite enjoyed it.

I love the comparison, the idea of writing a song that IS your love.

stole part of this for my nano novel. don’t worry, i’ll give it back.