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Harvey Lovehandles (An Illusory Prequel of Passions)

Wenches and booze weren’t necessarily the most family-friendly hero’s humble beginnings, but it would have to do for the hero of this tale, Harvey Lovehandles. Opening his sky blue luster silk eyes, hay and brambles and goat shit and horse tails and smells, so many things, and blur and hangover and…

Harvey has to get a hold. Spins aside, he elevates himself, using a bale of hay for support. One too many sips of Wild Turkey? End up in a stable. Happened before, happen again. Just another day in America for Harvey “Hotpants” Lovehandles.

Wenches: Harvey wasn’t alone. Below our hero, snuggled so sweetly in her rustic nest, a plump young boar in men’s denim snorts alone in tandem with hoggy visions of passionate passions, passions that Harvey was oh-so-sweetly subjected to in a forceful manner the bender-of-a-night before. Strange, but it will suffice to say: Man pants aside, Harvey didn’t wear any in this relationship.

Realizing the folly of this bestial ways, Harvey rethinks his life near a safety rail….

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