oh my god.

i had to laugh! goo one

good of course

This one had me clicking five out of five with one hand and furiously rubbing one out with the other

mission accumplished

came buckets

hilarious and interesting with a greatly different perspective.

Well done!

Thanks, I tried to capture the moment the exact way it happens in my head, but it was tough because my penis had experienced a “metamorphosis” of its own

the last part is the best, comparing her breast to eggs, but the rest was kind of goofy.. :P

yeah, thanks, I was gonna write one about my school mascot nailing mcgruff the crime dog

but I see that premise has basically been taken

The repeated “hard” in quotes seems obvious and unnecessary to me, unless this was written to be intentionally awkward, like a parody, though I don’t know what you’re parodying.

The last line made me laugh and showed me you’re a better writer than the rest of the story makes it seem, so I’m guessing the style was intentional.

@jester, yeah, it was intentional

I was sort of still warming up to the idea of ficly when I wrote it, but I’m planning on writing semi-seriously soon. Thanks for rating!

I get that it was supposed to be a humorous dig on the genius level script writing that exists in the porn industry, but I actually got a real sense of painful apathy and tedium from the protagonist.

Maybe I’m just spending far too much effort reading into this, but the fact that she smiles and he doesn’t, combined with the obvious sense of repetition of his daily routine give me the idea that he gets no joy out of his daily life. The last line adds a touch of wistful desperation as it breaks the fourth wall.

Then again, he does get to bone cave chicks all day, so maybe he’s happy.

Jape Prophets

^^ well, that’s certainly in depth. You may have actually spent more time on your comment than I did the story, so I’d like to give you five out of five

Oh, my. pterodactyl eggs! like that part.