This is pretty good, a step up from the Puerto Rico story. I get the main character’s inner conflict a lot better.

It was a typical night of porn, beer and sex-talk. Nothing out of the norm until we got into deeper conversation.

This paragraph can actually be expanded into its own Ficly, if you like. I’m assuming that they’re watching straight porn. Does your protagonist focus on the males in the videos? Is he even interested? And how does he handle the sex talk? Does he “butch” it up or hint at his true intentions? It could be interesting to know.

Quick edit: “You know Vin, your a good friend.” I said. should be: you’re a good friend.

Keep going! It’ll be interesting to see how both guys deal with the fallout from that kiss.

Very awkward moment, told but not described. I think you could expand this into something bigger, where we readers would feel, squirm, and cry along with the MC.

How I love a good gay teen story…

I write them all the time! Well, used to write a lot of them, so I feel like I should help you on this one.

This was good. That’s the first thing. It has very very good potential. However, you seem to speed through everything and honestly you don’t have to!

Give them more conversation. Show us how close they are! The line about their typical night is great! It shows they’re closeness. Do what BARomeo said and explain on his interest and his uninterest.

This is good enough that we want it expanded. So expand it! There is no need to rush