This feels very nostalgic and sort of glowing in that idyllic image. For the same reason, I would take care to avoid gushing, because for me it sort of hangs between a great image, and a cliché of a small town sunny park.

Also, your tags lend it a more somber feel, and go deeper. Hinting at those deeper things in the actual piece would make for a much more impactful piece, I think. It’s up to you though.

These area great ideas. And you’re right. Gushing can nullify impact. I appreciate the critique.

Made some changes. But couldn’t really fit it all, so I made it into two parts. Don’t know if that’s cool for this site or not, but I want to learn to respond to critique.