I don’t see where you are going with this. It reads more like a repair manual than a fun and witty story like the one that inspired it. The writing is good, as always, but I can’t help but ask: “Why?”
Perhaps this could use some commentary on your part?

Commentary: This story has had a virtually complete rewrite. I’ve also coined a new word: artifectors. Previously, the word ‘scientists’ had been used, but what these guys do is not really science. It ought to be, but they just don’t have the discipline.