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07:18:03 AM

Marcos was taken by surprise as a rock went through the window and a small army laid siege to the warehouse.

It was literally a small army. Kids were everywhere. Craig was tackled by a boy with a homemade Superman T-shirt and another wrapped in aluminum foil. They held him down while a third kid in green pelted him with Nerf arrows.

Victor had no idea what the Asian kid who stood motionless before him, eyes shut tight, was trying to do, but it distracted Victor long enough for the kid’s friends to take him down.

Guillermo was brought down by twenty six preteen girls in ridiculously tight sequined dresses, who pummeled him with their sequentially-numbered stainless steel lunchboxes.

Marcos himself was overwhelmed by a bunch who screamed incomprehensible things at him about “Others,” “the Dharma Initiative,” and “Jacob.” Who the hell was Jacob?

And then they brought in the scary Middle Eastern kid…

By the time the police arrived, Marcos and his crew were begging to be taken away.

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