note: teeth grate and maybe.. ‘the kind of day you love’ ?
I love the beginning of this piece, with the crickets. The character saying they are a fighter now is a bit confusing, because they dreamed they were, but nothing says they really are when awake. Then, when you get to the end it feels rushed. There is a physical reaction, but nothing triggering it. This has the makings of something great, but it needs more.

I’m… not really sure what to make of this one? There are a lot of interesting details, but they don’t really cohere, so the piece is frustrating rather than intriguing. Still, as Elsha says, there’s definite potential here.