In case Karl is compulsive about rank and order, i have finalized the formal legal steps in the main computer to assume the rank and duties of Captain, First mate, Bartender, and Ships Counselor in addition to Chief Science Officer. I grew reflective and somber when, while writing all of my quarterly objectives for these new roles as required by Swine Resources Department regs, I realized that my chances of succeeding as a bartender on a ship with no other crew, when I do not drink, and with all drink Umbrellas ejected shortly after the Captain in response to a panic attack onset by memories of my mother choking to death on a Mui Tai, it looks like I may have to sleep with myself to advance my career.