Let me guess: You live in California? As a native, I’ve seen my share of fight-or-flight fire situations, and I can see this line of thought happening, especially in someone as conflicted as your narrator (hint of a death wish?). My favorite line is “covered in darkness and soot.” The first few lines and “Santa Something-or-Other” seem almost a little too conversational given the circumstances, but the language shapes up by the end. The story may have a bit more impact with a few less rhetorical questions and without the last “I can’t believe …,” but the overall tone works.
jesteram