I like the languid pace of the writing. There’s a couple little things, like for some reason “cuddled” seems really out of place. Maybe it’s that it seems like a cutesy word when all the other ones have more of a literary feel.

I find this piece confusing. Is the lover human or some other-worldly creature/demigod?

It feels like it’s aiming for ‘high’ literature but some of the images are awkward – ‘bats like confetti’, ‘jutting arms’, ‘holding…within his eye’, ‘stemware’, ‘hit the lover with it’. Most of them confuse me and I can’t picture what you’re talking about, or they seem unlikely and throw me out of the story (stemware vs. wine glasses, and the ‘hit the lover’).

However, if you are going for an otherworldly feel, you’ve nailed it.

A branch falling on someone sounds painful … not like something that would lead to more flirting. I read “branch” and picture a sizable chunk of wood. “Stick” wouldn’t work, though. I do like, however, how she strikes him with it, then strikes him later as wise.

Best line: “bats like confetti in the air.”

Small grammar question: Is the past-to-present-tense “sat at the table and talk” intentional?

woops, nope. thanks for the catch.

These do seem different from your normal work. I agree that a branch strikes me visually as a large hunk of wood, and the first paragraph seems a little more like a fever-dream than the rest of it. It strikes me that it has a few too many unnecessary descriptors in comparison to the rest of it, maybe?