Comments on An Ant Atop a Mountain of Quicksand by Over the Precipice of the Unknown; Into the Frontier of Uncertainty

THX 0477

Confusing and kind of a run-on, so I got a bit lost. It seems like a neat idea with some potential. Might be clearer with just some structural changes.
- Posted over 8 years ago.
Krulltar

just at to what THX mentioned in his comment: no need to boldface verbs
- Posted over 8 years ago.
Krulltar

just at to what THX mentioned in his comment: no need to boldface verbs
- Posted over 8 years ago.
Over the Precipice of the Unknown; Into the Frontier of Uncertainty

THX; the pacing was meant to reflect the feeling of an ever increasing, overwhelming, and unstoppable increase in foreign sensory input.

Krulltar; i know i didn’t need to boldface the verbs, but I did just to see what it would look like on one of my first Ficly scribblings, and i thought it may also serve to change the structure of the read…rather than putting in periods or paragraph breaks.

Thanks for the feedback!
- Posted over 8 years ago.
Over the Precipice of the Unknown; Into the Frontier of Uncertainty

After reflecting, I made some corrections.
- Posted about 6 years ago.