I think it would have worked better as a longer piece – it moves too fast for my liking.

I’m not sure what more a longer piece would have added – it’s really a single moment or realisation that you’re writing about here.

I thought the first sentence had a bit too much telling and not enough showing.

Good to see you doing the “Dreamer, hoper, wanderer, thinker, dancer, musician, scientist, human” series!