Nasty. I want him to get beaten up despite his efforts… not because I’m mean and root for antagonists like Piggy Orderv (hilarious name) but because I think some more hardship is needed to endear me to Red. Of course you can’t fit a novel into a Ficly I realize. So as far as the 1024 limit goes you crafted a good set up and a catchy last line— one that got me interested in what happens next.

Somehow, in the first few lines, I was reminded of Dudley Dursley and his gang… I also love the name Piggy, gives a great image of the boy who wears it. If I was Piggy I’d run away! Ooh, maybe he’s a sympathy barfer. This could get intense.

now that’s intimidation! grr! and so gross. ew. Now, to make this comment worthwhile I’ll say that I expected to have read this kind of thing a million times, and yet you spun it on its ear. nice. but still gross.

I love that the status of the bullies and kid is reversed by the throwing up. I’ve heard that the worst person to fight against is a little guy, because if they’re getting into fights it’s because they don’t care about the pain. This kid sounds similar.

That is a very inventive solution to the bully problem. Your description of the spewage was awesome.