Oh wow! Did NOT see that one coming… I’m not sure I understand the last sentence though. The little girl doesn’t seem like the murderer type, but then maybe, your point is that anyone can be a murderer? Just thoughts.

@someday-The chuckle is what does it, I think. She realizes that she can still laugh and find amusement in things even though she’s no longer tiny.

@Mo-I really enjoyed this one. :)

Ahh, that could indeed be it GradUp. Haha, I’m just a little slow sometimes…

That was great. It was all so innocent right up until the end, though the knife reference was just ambiguous enough. Really nicely done, especially the contrast between childlike innocence and resolved moral ambiguity, as well as past self and present self.

Actually, to be honest, in my mind I’d seen the chuckle as more of a wry or bitter laugh. But who knows? If only we could ask her. Though then we would have an answer, and I rather like both interpretations.

Fun read and very entertaining.

I like that you put her deep into her own character, she was collecting her “props” if you will, to go along with her “disguise”.

I got a little lost about the list, I’m not sure what it is, but I don’t have a problem re-reading a story because the punchline effed up my perceptions and expectations,,,,,right?

Now the “please don’t hate me” part. You really took to heart about breaking up your writing, your flow is wonderful. But when you change from one central theme to a “secondary theme”, you should keep those together, breaking them up shuffles things around in the mind.

Please read parts 8 and 9 and think about combining those, I think it would work better.

You’re a great writer. You have a style all your own. If you keep it up. one day someone will be able to pick you out as the author based on your writing alone; it’s like a unique voice.

It makes for a great Sequel, so don’t make any changes on those two, just clarify by simplifying.

Is she forgetful? Flighty? Irresponsible? Indifferent? Or just thrives off risk? She brought the hit list with her, who know who was reading it while she was reading her shopping list?

OOOO, I Squeal for Sequels!

Ah, I know that feeling of “please don’t think badly of me, this is how I feel, eek”. But thank you for the constructive criticism, otherwise I’ll never know what to work on, right? (I can’t say I like it exactly, since I think it always stings at least the tiniest bit to hear one’s faults, but I really do appreciate it!)

So, I did combine parts 8 and 9… Oh, wait, no, I didn’t…. Well. Looks like I forgot my numbers, and combined 7 and 8. But I feel like by leaving 9 (or 8 now, I suppose) as a separate paragraph, it gives it more of an impact? Or is it just in my head (which is entirely – and very – likely)?

But thank you very much, your words really made my day, especially coming from a writer such as yourself! :)

Oh, and about the list, I had begun writing this with the idea of her buying household items, which she would use to kill with.
But, as it always turns out, I reached way beyond the character limit, and I went on a tangent with little girl butterflies, so I had to erase what (I hope) would have made my original idea more apparent.