The Man Who Killed the Man Who Killed Kennedy
“But ya can’t kill John F. Kennedy, Jack Ruby!”
“Wanna bet?” he smirked, “I didn’t get to have a name like Jack ‘Sparkling’ Ruby by being 1960 Chicago’s biggest fag!”
At this, the entire bar erupted into raucous applause, cries of “That’s my Jackie Boy!” and “you tell em!” nearly drowning out the man’s next irrational statement.
“No, I mean, ya can’t kill Kennedy cause he’s already dead!”
Jack had to allow it might complicate matters. He’d shot dead men before, but without the thrill of the hunt, he found it borderline distasteful. Besides, if someone had already iced the president, why repeat a trick?
There was nothing for it but to do the next best thing…KILL THE MAN WHO KILLED KENNEDY!
On principle, he shot the nay-sayer 25 times through his hat with a Colt Cobra .38, spelling out his initials. Despite having to reload 4 times, his aim, like the crowd’s enthusiasm, never wavered. It was his signature move.
(This account is entirely accurate)