Help! I had a very hard time with the last sentence. Any suggestions? The woman’s in the back seat.

I like this! Nice sequel, I like the shift in perspective. I don’t know how it’ll fit in with the character limit, but I thought I’d give that last sentence a shot. I hope it helps.

“But she had the target’s address now, and that was good enough. She shifted into reverse, glancing into the rear view mirror. The gleam of light blinds her briefly, a flash of something sharp swinging high.”

Ahh, the old person in the back seat with a knife trick.

I thought the last sentence was fine as is.

Thanks for your help Miles. You inadvertently hit the nail on the head, it was a character length issue, so I made minor changes, a story can read “cramped”, so I opened it up a bit.

Cheers.

Nice, I like the second perspective. Her initial contempt is clear. The change from predator to prey is great, especially between two skilled predators. I don’t know what to call it, reverse stalking?

Just one small thing: there should be a quotation mark after Get out!, I believe.

But I like the sequel! It’s interesting, seeing how what I thought was going to be a oneshot grew into something :)

Looks good! And I very much like that the story goes on ;)