Hmmm… I’ll need to think about this. I had a couple of things in mind, but all this… [gestures with hands]… this… contentment… makes it difficult.

I’d recommend splitting your first sentence at the first ‘and’. These are two completely disparate thoughts. It would also give that first sentence more punch.

In a couple of places, you’ve used a comma immediately before the word ‘and’. Since these sentences don’t contain lists, I suspect the comma shouldn’t be there.

I’m not certain why the Katya finds the games absurd. This my be simply my interpretation, but I would see it as a game for two players, one practicing deception and the other trying to crack the deception open. There may, after all, be times when it would be advantageous to convince even the gifted that things are as they’re not.

This is nicely done, Jessica. The pace of the story is slow which matches the pace of Katya’s life at the moment.

I like it. This series has been going on for quite a while, which is impressive. There’s something about the last line, the pairing of milk and contentment, that just seemed right and somewhat symbolic. Nicely done.

I partially agree with August. Split the first sentence, but there’s nothing wrong with a sentence made of two words and it would tie in with the absurdity mentioned later one. Days passed. almost tells me she’s somewhat bored and ready to get on with it. Monotony. Like I apologized. contains no sincerity or emotion…..I like it.

Now for the personal preference stuff:

Your use of content , for me, doesn’t feel right. The way you’re trying to utilize it through it’s meaning would be as a post-positive adjective. A good example would be SirBic the bold or SirBic the content

I mention this because the word has such opposite definitions..containment or emotional freedom. We even say it differently kontent and Kuntent.

But to use it the way you do with “never”. Did you mean “ever”?

And each morning I contentedly drank my milk, more at peace than I had ever been.

Or something along those lines.

Thanks guys! This was one where the initial idea was derailed by the character limit. I know where I want to go next, I’ll just have to see what you and Robert do first. ^^

I did make a couple edits and I think it reads a bit better, though I disagree about the first line…but that’s ok. :)

I haven’t read the rest of this series, but this feels like a pause between action, a moment’s rest to settle the reader and authors before they plunge back into the action. If that’s its purpose, it’s done very well.