The mother saying “again” in referencing her daughter’s “allergies” hit me. Crying is not a rarity in this family. That’s a good, subtle, economic backstory.

The “mother knows best” line struck me as unnecessary, since the rhetorical “right?” suddenly makes it seem like the narrator is questioning the reader.

But the line “if you just tried” is so sad…

Thanks for the feedback. I see what you mean by the last line. I originally had it written a different way, and you know how when you write something and then edit it there are those little things you think are jewels? That was one of them.

It’s the worst part about self-editing. I’m horrible at letting stuff go—even if I grumblingly know deep down that my story will be better without it.