I am brand new to this site and excited at the prospect of ACTUALLY writing. Please feel free to rip me to shreds and offer any tips on making “friends” or navigating the site.

1st welcome to ficly
2nd thanks for having a picture, I hate the generic ficly avatar.

Overall, I like this. it’s a nice “parable” like realization that I think alot of people relate to.

Just a minor edit…the sentence that starts “Directly deposited pay offs …” comes off a little ‘wonky’…it just has an odd feel to it, and IMHO needs to be rewritten.

Thank you! Can’t have “wonky”. I will work on an edit.

I feel officially welcome now. :)

Lovely little story. That was awesome, right from the first sentence. Me and my inner child are going for a walk now!

Oh, and welcome to the site. Making friends is easy, and I’m shocked Krully didn’t give you his standard rejoinder, “Read, Reply, Ficly, or Die!” In other words, write your heart out, then take some time to read what others have done and leave comments. Even if you can’t give constructive feed back, something as simple as, “I read this and appreciated something about it,” is well appreciated.

Awesome. You had me right from the start. Me and my inner child are going to go for a walk now!

Also, welcome to ficly. As Krully often says, the best way to make friends is to, “Read, Reply, Ficly, or Die!” In other words, write your heart out, then take the time to read what others to and leave comments, even a simple statement that you read and enjoyed it.

Thx…THX!