Nice, great set up, it’s an overhead, zooming in, crane shot.

You don’t need the first “concession”. Focus on the line itself, that’s where your power is Robert, use your wonderful talents of descriptive writing too emphasize and define the line.

Ooh, I liked that. I was expecting some little teen drama, but noooooo, it’s all ominous and stuff. I do like that it does remain vague enough that it could be nothing more than a power outage and undue panic…but probably not.

Superb.

Since The Walking Dead doesn’t come back until Oct 16, I’d love to see someone do a sequel to this. With zombies, of course.