This has an interesting story line that could have lots of potential. I would consider trying to add more detail as to what the room looks like, how the person feels, and why they’re there. Your writing style is very simple to me, so try to be a little more explanatory on things and it’s remarkable how much that improves your writing!

Thanks for the feedback! I’ll see what I can do. ^_

This is a good opening for a sequel. I would suggest separating it out a little for clearer reading, but the current structure nicely emphasises the final line, and point, of the piece.

I would use full stops instead of commas in the first line. Shortened sentences would increase the ‘bored theme’.

I enjoyed the personal element to this – and the raw honesty to it.
Abby x