An interesting piece, certainly. That fourth line from the bottom really caught me for some reason, maybe it’s the freedom that comes with a night on the road with only the moon in your way.
Glad to be of inspiration to this wonderful piece.
I changed the third part, I didn’t like the country and western theme with the boots, I wanted to impart hard rock or punk rock and added more smoking references too, carried on from Red’s original. I think it’s much better. Also, I changed some other wording. This guy is a musician, an artist. And most artists notice the innuendos of life, small insignificant things that music is written about. Most artists live a highly perceptive life and I didn’t want the reader to think this character lost that trait.
Awesome, and more akin to my original thoughts with the punk idea.
And I also realized that this is coming from the perspective as the two were in the band, which undoubtedly sets up my piece in an entirely different light, one I didn’t imagine it in before. Almost betters it, in a way. Makes a deeper connection from the two I previously conceived as strangers.
It was your style of writing that made this fun to write. You wrote the original without boundaries or markers.
I take a mental image of stories. At the top of the page I write prequel and at the bottom sequel. I’m not really concerned with those, they are kind of a given. It’s the sides that are so open, I can write in the left or right margins. More of like an insert, adding to, not adding on.
Yes, I did see them as strangers too, but familiar strangers, something uncomfortable was between them causing this weird banter with each other. Her statement about starting a band seemed sarcastic, and we are usually sarcastic with people we know and are comfortable being sarcastic with.
32 ^2 
soup