Exciting stuff, and it’s a neat scenario. “He slowly approached it…” was a run-on sentence. “He was struck by fear,” seemed a bit flat. Maybe, “he said with fear chilling his voice.” Fun stuff, just needs a little polish.
Exciting stuff, and it’s a neat scenario.
“He slowly approached it…” was a run-on sentence. “He was struck by fear,” seemed a bit flat. Maybe, “he said with fear chilling his voice.”
Fun stuff, just needs a little polish.
THX 0477